When I woke up after a sleepless night feeling like a zombie, I kept thinking of some questions, disturbing thoughts and kept noting them down as they surfaced. Some of them could be silly, with simple answers but in the current context, there are definitely pointers towards where we should be going from here..

- How could a terrorist (however tough-trained he is) could keep fighting against scores and scores of commandos for almost 3 days non-stop? I am sure they didn't even have time for a blink... Where does he get that strength from? Its just not physical strength, you are talking about mental exhaustion as well. If he really can do it, then why isn't he working in NASA or ISRO or that matter CBI or FBI ? All those terrorists that were involved in this attack on Taj and Trident were between the ages of 18 and 28. You can almost brand them terror prodigies... What is he doing on the other side? Crazy....

- Why the f#*k was POTA struck off as soon as the current government assumed office in 2004? Isn't this an indication that we do not take extremism seriously? Is it just a order passed "by mistake"... or is there a deeper plot to it ? Does this lead us to some inconvenient truths?

- How did those explosives reach the Taj and Trident? Its now almost clear that they were lying there inside much before the terrorists entered the hotel? So, are we saying that they were planted much before 11/26? Why were they not caught when some guest or staff took it inside? 

- After 9/11 in US and 07/07 in London, we never heard of any such events (atleast not of the similar intensity) happenning in US or UK. Somehow they seem to have taken enough measures to curb structured extremism. Why can't the same thing be implemented in India? What is stopping us? 

- How come China is able to manage to keep these terrorists at bay in its country? Why can't we do the same thing here in India? All said and done, I agree that China is almost like 15-20 yrs ahead of us in terms of economy et al... but when it comes to sensitive things like security for a person who goes to a restaurant to have a meal, who goes to a bar to hang out with his friends to have a drink or meet a business partner.... its so very inadequate!!!

- Why are we so irritated when we are stopped by a security guard at the entrance of a mall or cinema hall or park to check our vehicle and yet complain about lack of security for our lives. Why do we mock those guards who frisk us with lewd comments on their sexual urges...etc.,... blasphemous !!! In the western world, nobody even raises an eyebrow when they have to pass through a security check and we crib and yell at the delay caused by these checks???

- Why did those terrorists let go some of those hostages? I mean each of them carried something like a AK-47, atleast 7-8 magazines (with 50 bullets each) and god-only knows how many hand grenades... all of this is enough to kill each and every hostage they held. They could have done that easily... Then, why let go?? Its stupidity to say that they let the hostages go because of the NSG or police. Is there a hidden agenda behind this? Are they sending across a terror message by doing so? Like now you go and spread the terror back at your home country and tell them how scary and insecure is this country called India ??? 

- Why don't the police departments have choppers in their fleet? When I mentioned this to a colleague of mine, he said, 'Boss, you think you live in LA or NY??' And my answer to that is... So what if i am not in LA or NY. My life and the lives of people around me is just as precious as that of a Newyorker's is .... We anyways are not a piddly little country that we have to depend on the World Bank to strengthen our security infrastructure. Why do we always look "down" upon the police unless an incident of this magnitude shows itself bang in our face !!!!!???? 

- How much more cruel can life get? Moshe Holtsberg, the little toddler, all of barely two years finds out on his second birthday that the parents who gave him birth are no more...!!! Rabbi Gavriel Holtsbery and Rivka Holtsberg could not see their son turn two yesterday... What did they do to deserve this? I know you will talk of "prarabdh" and things like that... but its so heart-rending to see that kid cry and look for his mom to see if she is around somewhere!!!!

- How can somebody be so stoic ? The GM of the Taj Karambir Kang, almost saw his entire family burnt alive in front of his eyes and he continues to attend to his duties as if nothing has happened. I am sure, deep down its hurting. But he is not reacting widly like taking a speed boat to Faridkot and blowing up that place. What is keeping him stick to his duties? Is it what is known as humanity? I dunno...

These and many more disturbing thoughts.... some unanswered questions, some uncomfortable answers... where do we go from here? How do we ensure that another 11/26 does not happen in India? Who should be given such responsibility? What can ordinary citizens like me do to better the situation? 

Actually, had it not been for these television news channels and their brave reporters, we would never have understood the gravity of the situation out there. I know a little bit of drama is always there but its not the time to talk about it. All said and done, they did a fabulous job to do a minute-by-minute coverage of the entire fiasco. Thankyou... !!!

I just say a prayer for all those who have gone through this harrowing time in the past few days... alive and otherwise... God bless !!